Personal Values: Who Are You, Really?

Over the next couple of posts, we’re going to explore the two kinds of values that shape our lives: personal values and global values.

Let’s begin today with personal values.

These are the deeply held principles that guide how you relate to yourself—and how you want others to relate to you. They are your internal compass. They shape your sense of personal integrity, identity, and worth.

In contrast, global values (which we’ll explore in the next blog) are the principles that guide your interactions with society, your community, and your family. They determine what you believe is acceptable and important in your external world.

Values Are Not Things

Before we dive in, it’s important to remember:
Values are not material objects.

They are intangible. You can’t hold them in your hand. If you’re unsure whether something is a value, ask yourself:

“Can I touch it?”

If the answer is yes, it’s not the value—it’s likely a symbol of the value.

For example:
You might love your car—but your car isn’t your value. What it represents could be your value—like freedom, independence, or mobility. That’s what gives it personal meaning.

Similarly, a beautiful home might reflect a value for security or stability. Jewellery might reflect self-expression or identity. The object isn’t the value—the feeling or principle behind it is.

What Are Your Personal Values?

To restate:
Personal values are about you as an individual. They help you:

• Understand what matters most to you

• Make aligned decisions

• Hold boundaries

• Choose how you want to be treated by others

And they offer a mirror for self-reflection:

Am I living in a way that honours my values?

When we ignore or abandon these values (as explored in the blog on primary guilt), we begin to feel discontent, disconnected, and even shame.

✍️ Today's Activity: Name and Prioritise Your Personal Values

Below is a list of twenty common personal values. Your task is simple—but powerful.

1. Rank them from most important (1) to least important (20).

2. Take your top ten and reflect using the journaling questions below.

Personal Values List
Ambitious
Capable
Cheerful
Loving
Logical
Obedient
Dutiful
Polite
Responsible
Broadminded
Courageous
Forgiving
Helpful
Imaginative
Independent
Self-disciplined
Intellectual
Honest
Harmony
Contentedness

Reflection Questions for Your Top Ten

For each of your top 10 values, ask yourself:

• What actions did I take today that expressed this value?

• What behaviours showed up in me that aligned with this value?

• What words did I speak today that reflected it?

• What beliefs do I hold that support this value?

• What attitudes do I carry that express it?

This is where you begin to live your values instead of just naming them.

Don’t Forget to Stamp Your Card!

And of course, if you’re doing this work with me regularly—you already know what time it is…

🟡 Pull out your Life Café Loyalty Card!
Every time you identify a value…
Every time you speak, act, or think in alignment with it…
Every time you course-correct from guilt or fear back to your truth—

That’s a stamp.

And it matters.

Living by your values is an act of emotional muscle. It’s a moment of self-respect. It’s a declaration: I belong to myself first.

So go ahead—stamp that card with a sense of satisfaction.